Amy Childs

My husband isn’t emotionally available or aware, which makes me feel incompatible with him. Does our marriage have any hope if we aren’t connecting emotionally?

Women frequently make the mistake of wanting from their husbands or male partners what they get from their girlfriends. It can be extremely liberating to realize that men offer us something entirely different. I encourage women to consciously build a strong sisterhood for themselves so that their husbands can be relieved of an emotional duty that doesn’t really suit them.

I encourage women to ask men for things that men are able to give. When men feel appreciated for the things that they provide, they grow better and better at it. When women focus on what they want men to do, rather than what they wish men were, they can see their male partners as heroes waiting for a mission, rather than as an emotional failure.

What women often really want is emotional support from their partners in the form of listening and closeness, but they are afraid to ask for it because it is not something men naturally understand or want for themselves. Women are often surprised to find that their make partners are actually able to give the kind of support they want, when they are asked in specific and appreciative ways.

I teach clients about these and other unconventional ways to relate to one another, which can alleviate tension and increase relationship satisfaction.

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